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Is Cougar a Sexist Term?
Has the term cougar "become a very sexist word"? Daryl Deino thinks so. In the article "'Cougar' Has Become A Very Sexist Word" in the National Ledger he wonders why "today’s so-called 'feminists' speaking out more about this issue?"
Well, first we'd note that that "become" part certainly defies conventional wisdom. As Dieno notes, "the term was originally used to refer to a woman who, after reaching a certain age, becomes a conniving, desperate and manipulative animal in search of male flesh." While we don't think it ever suggested "conniving, desperate and manipulative" women, we can all at least recognize that the term probably started in a more lurid, male-centric place. And it's one of the reasons we started this website - to help celebrate beautiful older women and challenge traditional perceptions. His own acknowledgement of the roots of the term seem to betray the article's title: "Cougar Has Become a Very Sexist Word." Doesn't that imply that the term wasn't sexist once? That's neither here nor there because we believe the whole premise is faulty.
The term cougar is no longer owned by the young men that started it, but rather the sexy women to which it refers. Cougar women have embraced the term, made it their own, and used it to upend the status quo. As Dieno suggests, "men have been dating younger women for centuries" without much ado, while when older women dated younger men it was always seen as something of a taboo. Certainly a double standard did exist. But contrary to his position, we'd argue that the term 'cougar' has helped to relax the double standard rather than strengthen it.
Why?
It's a point we often try to make. Cougars are sexy, self-confident and desirable. Young men want them because they are these things, not because they are rich or suggest some kind of stability. Young men lust after older women because they are preferable to their vapid peers. That's the distinction. Older men who date younger women may not have a defined term (hello, "Dirty Old Man," "Sugar Daddy") but there has always been a subtle, underlying notion associated with them. Mainly, that the only reason young hot women are with them is because they're wealthy. That notion is always in the back of their mind. "Is she only with me because of my money?" he continuously asks himself.
But the cougar? She sits in a position of strength in the relationship. Because the young man desires her because she's hot, experienced and supremely confident. And men find those qualities sexy no matter what the age.
That's what we think anyway. What say you? Is cougar a "very sexist word"?
Great topic to bring up as I am sure many people will chime in their experiences and thoughts. The term cougar has become sexist only in part to the efforts of Hollywood's unrealistic portrayals of cougars. The cougar has lately been "cashed in" by Hollywood and they are milking it for what it's worth. The stereotype pokes fun at cougars (SNL's Cougar Den skit) or makes them out to be sex crazed women without substance (Cougar Club straight to DVD movie). Everyone I've spoken to hates The Cougar show on TV Land because the guys are immature and the cougar has no appeal that makes her stand out (some debate if she is even a true cougar). Which just proves that they were simply in it for the ratings, trying to pass it off as a Bachelor clone but really being more like Rock of Love. I know that there are many cougars who have taken back the name and empowered themselves with it, but until Hollywood helps their cause it will not be given the respect the cougar lifestyle so rightfully deserves.
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By: Captain Confidence Comments: (29)AMEN.... "The term cougar is no longer owned by the young men that started it, but rather the sexy women to which it refers." More and more women are embracing the term cougar, that's why it's here to stay.
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By: dynomite Comments: (410)all i know is i am totally cougars. i don't care what you call them.
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By: Carl S Comments: (83)Hey There captin & DYNO your right! Please it is only over rated and quite simply undefined for "Each COugar" she has her own way about her. Which SHE should.."She has discovered it true sense of self" Therefore the way "She live's her life, from her career to love" IS indeed mush more authentic..As I said there are many different "Type's of "Cougar's" and simply we have to step up embrace the "name" and what it mean's for US!
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By: WildFlower Comments: (15)It seems that people these days are easily insulted. In my opinion, a cougar is a magnificent creature, and I don't mind being compared to it. The term cub; however, is not the best. My husband is a red-blooded adult male, and not readily likened to any kind of a baby. We need a more appropriate term for these men.
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By: fitsexycougar Comments: (4)