Madonna is Dating Jesus

To the surprise of no one (especially us), the Material Cougar has been on something of a shagging spree since divorcing her cub husband Guy Ritchie. First the High Priestess of Kabbalah and Dance Beats was rumored to be shacking up with baseball god Alex Rodriguez, and now she's reportedly romancing Jesus. No, sadly not that Jesus, but rather 22 year-old Brazilian model Jesus Luz, heretofore known only to fashionistas, gays, and gossip hounds.

The two were spotted having lunch together confirming what we all suspected: they're in love.










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