Ask Lucia (10/31/08)

In this installment of "Ask Lucia," our resident relationship expert Lucia discusses insecurities about the "age factor" and helps a young cub from Dubai find and approach the cougars he loves so much!

To ask Lucia a question of your own, contact her at askanexpert@urbancougar.com.


Hi Lucia,

I love dating or seeing older women. I love the way they handle themselves and look. 21 year olds are fun but get old. An active older woman who likes to go out and can turn heads with a great cocktail dress and heels is the most attractive thing I can think of.

I’d like to know why older women always ask why I like them and how come I am not "into" younger girls.  Are all older women this insecure about this?  -Brian




Hi Brian,

Luckily, not all older women are insecure about the age factor.  Most know that they are the total package and have more to offer than younger women, because they’ve had more time to get their act together.

You may be meeting women who are recently divorced and back on the dating scene or who have always dated older men.  The concept of a guy preferring an older woman is still quite new to a lot of people.

Tell them the same things you’ve told me and that should help appease their concerns.




Hi Lucia,

I am a 28 year old male from Dubai.  It's so interesting to read something that you get to realize how accurately you've described me in one of your articles.  

I’ve dated a few cougars but I need to know where I can spot them?  How do I know if they are looking?  I love older women.  -Adam


Hi Adam,

Wow, I’ve got readers in Dubai!  I’m flattered.  Your letter proves that the “cougar revolution” as I like to call it is not just happening in the U.S., but all over the world.

You can find cougars almost anywhere!  Think of where an older woman is most likely to hang out.  You probably won’t find one at most night clubs.  You have a better chance of spotting a cougar at a museum, library, bookstore, lecture, gym, supermarket or walking the dog.

You won’t know if an older woman is interested until you talk to her.  Make sure she doesn’t have a ring on her finger.  Begin a conversation as you would with anyone else.  Watch her body language.  Is she smiling?  Does she touch you at all – even just a light tap?  Does she play with her hair?

Ask for her phone number.  If she’s interested, she’ll give it to you (her number that is!)



About Lucia
Lucia is urbancougar.com's resident expert on cougar-cub relationships. To ask her a question, contact her at askanexpert@urbancougar.com.

Host of the popular L.A. radio show, “The Art of Love” and a syndicated advice columnist, Lucia is a renowned cougar relationship expert and former Urbancougar of the Month. She has shared her wisdom on countless radio and television programs including The Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, The KTLA Morning Show, and Playboy Radio. Her book, Lucia’s Lessons in Love, is available for purchase here.

To step into Lucia’s world, visit http://www.theartoflove.net.